Much has been said lately about “cancel culture” and our penchant for writing people off for one mistake. Recently I found myself at risk of being cancelled by association. I read a famous book about childbirth, and shared my enthusiasm for the ideas presented in the book in a Facebook group. After a little while, the comments started. “I can’t read the book or recommend it. The author is too problematic.” “Haven’t read it, won’t read it.” “She’s a racist.”
Fear and dread immediately flooded my body. My stomach dropped. I want these women in this group to like me! I had no idea that this book’s author had said anything racist. I thought it was nearly a textbook on birth, and in my reading thus far I hadn’t come across anything problematic. Had I made a mistake? In a panic, I googled the author and “racist” and found the offense. Yes, in answering a question in a public forum, this famous woman had made a now-obviously racist comment. Did this characterize her underlying racist beliefs? Was she conscious of how this came across? Had she publicly asked for forgiveness? I wasn’t sure.
On the group thread, I amended my enthusiasm to clearly state “I saw this and find it problematic, too” - to signal, “Don’t worry, y’all, I’m not a racist” - and asked for alternative books in the same vein. The signal was received and I was not cancelled that day.
Relaying this story to a friend later, we laughed in our frustration. Does her bad comment erase everything good in the book? Is she now without value? It strikes me that our culture has suddenly made a broad change. Not too long ago, relativistic truth ruled the day. But now there is something we all think is absolutely true: a hint of racism is a virtual death sentence. Racism is always wrong, always bad, never excusable.
To be clear: I agree! One hundred percent. In snarkier moments I want to say, “Great! Glad you got with the program, world.” (But that would be prideful.) It’s just that I believe this applies to other realms as well. Lying is always bad. Stealing is always bad. Infidelity is always bad. Greed, lust, malice, slander…always bad. And with that broader list comes broader culpability. We all have erred at some point. I’ve said racist things. I’ve stolen things! I rolled out of bed and the first thing out of my mouth was a cutting remark meant to shame my husband. (Who does that?!) Any one of my mistakes is worth me being cancelled - from my marriage, from our culture, and ultimately…for all of eternity.
Do you see? This is the core of the Christian worldview. “We all have sinned and fall short…” of the standard of perfection on Twitter? No, we fall short “of the glory of God” - the only perfect One, the unchanging standard-setter who was and is and ever shall be. The One who never misspoke or acted out of any motivation other than love and justice.
When you see someone post or say something evil and think, “Wow, I can no longer associate myself with them. I can’t believe they did that,” you agree with God. He cannot associate with us in our yuckiness. And yet! This is the heart of my faith: He did not want to leave us cancelled. He did not want to be without us. And so he offers us forgiveness (and a way to be better, and a bunch of other things! But let’s focus on forgiveness first.)
I am eternally forgiven. What a gift. Because I have been forgiven, I can forgive. And on my worst days (or, really, every day) I must ask for God’s help to forgive. You don’t have to be your worst tweet. I’m so glad I’m not the nastiest thing I’ve ever said or done. It is in view of my own brokenness that I offer a shrug and pause to hear the rest of the story.